Book Club: Self Observation by Red Hawk
Self Observation by Red Hawk is an owner’s manual to the awakening of the conscience. Red Hawk invites you to dive deep and peel back the layers of your consciousness through the simple yet elusively challenging practice of self-observation.
This book is outlined into 20 chapters:
Self Observation—Know Thyself
If we do not know ourselves, we are trapped in a habitual, unconscious and continuous cycle.
Self observation is difficult because “it requires conscious effort and intent. It requires courage and will of attention” (2).
Habits are difficult to change, what we’re focusing on is the relationship to our habits.
The Mammal Instrument—Inner Processes
“Use the mind, but don’t become it…”(7).
We are not separate from our soul — “We are souls having a human experience” (8).
The intellectual center is the slowest of the four centers.
Instinct, moving, emotion, intellect.
Trust your instincts and feelings.
How to Observe—Fundamental Principles
4 Fundamental Principles of Self-Observation
Self-observation without judgement, focus on bodily sensation
Don’t change what is observed
No observation without sensation
Ruthless self-honesty
Self-remembering: I find myself
1st Law of Matter: Matter is neither created nor destroyed, only transformed
Will of Attention
Our attention is weak due to external influences.
Lack of will is replaced by habit — must repair attention-function
Self Remembering
Focus attention on bodily sensation
Moment of identification while in the midst of mood, emotion, movement or habitual behavior
What to Observe
"This is where the beauty of self observation practice becomes clear: I cannot see too much too soon, I can only see as much as I wish to see at any given moment before my defense mechanisms, created over years and years of habit shield me from myself. Then once again, I am asleep inside, unconscious, a creature of habit. These habits are not wrong or bad.” (30).
4 Step Observation Practice
Notice unnecessary tension in your body
Notice unnecessary thinking
Notice inappropriate emotion
Notice habit
Enlightenment = free attention + relaxed body
The Left Hemisphere Is a Binary Computer—Intellectual Center
“The intellectual center, the brain’s left hemisphere, is always last to know” (35).
Our modern world places the most emphasis on the intellectual center in pursuit of money and power.
Thought cannot love, and the intellectual center cannot control love, thus it fears it.
Intellect is binary: like and dislike —> love is unity.
The Blind Spot—The Capture and Consume Cycle
The Blind Spot = the Labyrinth = intellectual + emotional centers = pattern of thought and emotional pattern or habit that triggers an emotion that stays concealed
Feeding Cycle
Capture: action
Consume: judgement of action
The blind spot seeks to feed itself by reenacting patterns of habit (intellectual, emotional and physical)
The First Responder—The Default Position
Most of us live in survival mode (whether real or imagined)
The survival instinct is located at the navel, home to rage and terror
The one and only energy is love.
When we are awakened and conscious, we choose our reaction. If we are unconscious, our habit cycle takes over.
Multiple I’s
Inside each of us is a multitude of I’s, self-divided, fragmented and at war.
The Denying Force—Resistance to Work
Resistance to the work in inevitable and necessary
Buffers
Buffers = “an elaborate system of distractions which captures the attention and prevents me from seeing how the labyrinth captures and consumes attention” (79).
5 Types of Buffers
Blame “not-me”
Justification “me-but”
Self importance “only-me”
Self pity “poor me”
Guilt “bad me”
Buffers are necessary systems to survive in the world and create a sense of stability.
“Removal of buffers is a delicate process. Buffers will dissolve as conscience awakens and develops in me; buffers will become impossible to maintain.
If I saw the fragmented and divided self directly, as it is, the shock and horror of it would destroy me. We cannot bear our own madness.
The Law of the Work for entering the “Corridor of Madness” is: The only way out is through. I must pass through my madness. Self observation and self remembering are the ways to safely traverse the Corridor” (81).
Seeing and Feeling
Basic goodness rests within each human
Intention (intellect) + Wish (feeling) = feeling-attention to form real will and ability to do (86)
Intellect + Feeling + Bodily Sensation (instinct) = harmony
Rest in “effortless effort” rather than mentality of fixing right now
Becoming a Hypocrite
When you feel like a hypocrite, conscience has awakened.
Feel this instead of diverting attention towards distractions
5 main distractions: money, sex, power, fame, drugs
Seeing and feeling in your daily life will awaken conscience for the inner work of transformation
Do the right thing, even if you don’t feel like it
Voluntary Suffering
Voluntary suffering arises from self-observation without judgement —> we open ourselves to see the horror of fully seeing the divided self without the protection of buffers
The Awakening of Intelligence—Thinking Outside the Box
Awakening of intelligence occurs when we realize we cannot by ourselves, change — we are trapped in a recurring cycle
You cannot think yourself outside of the box
To move outside the box: “The intellectual center must become passive, alert, receptive; it must remain in the mode of “I don’t know,” organically ignorance” (101).
“I don’t know” —> moving outside the box towards real intelligence from outside the body from higher centers, intuition, inspiration, higher intellectual and emotional functions
Real intelligence: “clear channel between heart/mind and higher centers to receive wisdom — It does not come from me, but is received by me” (102).
3 Definitions of Insanity
Repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting different results
A self divided
Not trusting reality
Practical Uses of the Mind
To observe
To solve technical problems in the present
To communicate with others
to serve attention and intelligence
To align with the heart
Being Shock
Being shock: upon practicing self observation, you will come to a point of horror, this is the law
When conscience is awakened, shock and horror arise because you are no longer numb, then you will no longer be driven only by habits
Being shock transforms your being into an undivided entity, it trusts reality because it is real, it releases worn patterns, it is a human being, it is sane (109).
“The only thing that can ever change is my relationship to what is observed: without identification” (106).
Shocking the world: unnecessary thinking no longer dominates the head-brain (109).
The Shift in Context—Not-Doing
“The intention of the Work is to produce freedom in us. There’s only one way that freedom can be produced in us and that is to choose work mind over neurotic mind…Sooner or later in this Work we’ve got to break with that mind, cleanly and finally…—all its elements, all its identifications, its hopes, its dreams, its wishes, and its morality…every single element of that mind has been severed.” (111-112).
Live in reality itself, instead of the definition of reality.
Inspiration is feeling, not emotion.
Emotions measure dangers in the environment — anger, sadness, happiness, and fear.
Anger and fear are in the emotional center
Rage and terror are house in the instinctive center (survival-instinct)
The Deer in the Tall Grass
When reading, keep your spine straight and both feet on the floor to facilitate a certain level of self observation and self remembering. Focus on bodily sensation anchored and grounded in presence.
Focus points: forehead, top of head, navel, solar plexus or heart.
“Mood is like a hunter searching for a deer in the tall grass. If the deer remains still, unmoving, the hunter moves on. Cease identification with what you are not and the hunter has no more ammunition, your suffering is at an end” (124).
The Awakening of Conscience—Carrying My Own Cross
“The first thing, and the most important thing, to be understood about the path of self observation without judgement or trying to change what is observed is this: the path of self observation is a path of awakening conscience. That is, I continue to observe myself honestly, long enough, conscience will awaken in me; that is lawful and unavoidable. It is a by-product of honest self observation” (127).
Feel and see suffering on the path, no need to change anything within.
What is conscience?
“The direct line of communication with the mind and heart of the Creator” (128).
Higher Centers
Unconditional love is from Source
“Real love has boundaries. Fear has none. Real relationship operates within very clear and agreed upon boundaries. Failure to honor those boundaries means the relationship cannot endure” (136).
Closing Statement
“Higher centers are always at work in the body, but their influences is drowned out by the noise of the mind’s continuous chatter. I must grow still, “stop the world,” in order to receive their influence. By law, I must issue the invitation. Identification masks their influence in me. When I am present to the presence within (yet another level of self remembering), help arrives. Transformation is the result. The brain is re-ordered and the being is transformed” (140).
Highest teachings:
The act of observation changes what is observed
We cannot see too much, too soon
When we are awakened and conscious, we choose our reaction. If we are unconscious, our habit cycle takes over.
We are a multitude of I’s and the fragmentation inside is simply a human experience
The only way out, is through
When you feel like a hypocrite, conscience has awakened. Try to feel it instead of moving towards diversions and distractions — remember, the only way out is through, continue to see and feel
Do the right thing, even if you don’t feel like it
When we allow ourselves to admit “I don’t know,” that’s when we’re moving towards real intelligence, the intelligence of higher centers, intuition and inspiration
Real intelligence is from higher centers that does not come from you but is received by you
Wish and intention together can awaken consciousness
How you can integrate these teachings into your life:
Feel into bodily sensations without judgement, this is the first fundamental practice of self-observation
Observation Practice: Unnecessary tension in your body, unnecessary thinking, inappropriate emotion, habit
At the core of each human individual is basic goodness, try to remember this as you move forth through your journey
Rest in “effortless effort” rather than mentality of fixing right now
Combine intellect, feeling and instinct to create harmony towards actionable work
Seeing and feeling in your daily life will awaken conscience for the inner work of transformation
Work on opening your heart and mind and creating receptivity from within — when this channel is clear, wisdom from the higher centers
When reading, keep your spine straight and both feet on the floor to facilitate a certain level of self observation and self remembering. Focus on bodily sensation anchored and grounded in presence.
Real love and relationships need boundaries in order to endure. Only fear has no boundaries. Set boundaries for yourself and in your relationships. Live in love.
This is an illuminating yet dense book designed to awaken your consciousness from within. This is a book I’d recommend reading more than once. Each rotation through the book uncovers layers of wisdom and it’s only until you’re fully ready, that the knowledge will be revealed to you.
Read this book here.